Coaches, we’re losing too many of our athletes
By Braeden Melton | Assistant Coach | UW-Oshkosh Women’s Volleyball
The recent stories about collegiate athletes dying by suicide that have been flooding my timeline are truly heartbreaking. Five NCAA student-athletes in less than two months have died by suicide. Five people with so much life left to live could not hold on any longer. We are officially in a crisis.
We’re at a point where we have young people feeling like they aren’t enough. Young people who might not know how to ask for help or feel vulnerable enough to do so. Something needs to change.
We can check in all we want but it’s not enough. Those that are struggling will hide behind lies because they don’t want to be a burden to you or have others fight their battles for them. We often find out about their demons once it’s too late. Vulnerability and honesty need to become the norm. Shame needs to be replaced with empathy.
Coaches, we’re losing too many of our athletes.
Please note, I’m no expert on mental health, nor do I have any official training on the best way to communicate with athletes about it, I’m just a concerned volleyball coach. So what is our role? How can we, in the role of coach, help?
Take a moment to really look at what is all entailed when you say collegiate athlete: class, practice, studying, lifts, exams, a social life, family obligations, traveling for competition, eating enough food, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water — topped off by the pressure of excelling to the highest clip in all of those facets can rapidly become overwhelming. I’m certain I even missed some.
May is officially Mental Health Awareness month, and yes — I agree that we should be talking about mental health all of the time. It shouldn’t just be a priority, it should be the priority.
I’m using this as an opportunity to grow because I’m scared of what could happen if I don’t. With the recent losses highlighted in our NCAA community, we have to talk about it. So I’m going to set a goal for myself: I want to be a better resource for my athletes when it comes to talking about their mental health and the struggles that accompany it.
Are we going to prevent every single death by suicide? No; we aren’t. Can we at least make an effort today to try and make a positive change? Absolutely.
With the help of my very good friend, Katie Rueffer — Head Coach at Lake Forest College, I was exposed to some quality resources to better myself when it comes to talking about mental health.
If you are a coach who wants to help but might not know how please use these links as a starting point:
Roadmap to Mental Health: https://www.thementalhealthcoalition.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/12/MHC_Roadmap_16-9_R2-1.pdf
Mental Health Language Guide: https://www.thementalhealthcoalition.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/The-Mental-Health-Coalitions-Language-Guide-2.pdf
Roadmap to Friends Supporting Friends: https://www.thementalhealthcoalition.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/Friends-Supporting-Friends.pdf
Starting the Conversation: https://seizetheawkward.org/conversation/starting-the-conversation
The Campus Toolkit: https://seizetheawkward.org/conversation/starting-the-conversation
“And we have to care for the human soul before we can even try to reach the student, && we have to cultivate the student before we can possibly breakthrough to the athlete” — @katduncanson on Instagram
These are only a start. We are so far away from understanding all of the components but we play such a critical role in our athlete’s path that we need to start somewhere.
As coaches, we have an obligation to guide our athletes on a path to a positive future. If we can equip ourselves with more tools to be at our disposal we can hopefully begin to connect on a more significant level with our teams. Our words hold more weight than we think they do, so here are some words for any struggling student-athlete that might happen to read this:
You and your life matter.
This world would not be the same without you in it.
I love and care about every single one of you as you are.
If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800–273-TALK (8255) any time day or night. Crisis Text Line also provides free, 24/7, confidential support via text message to people in crisis when they dial 741741.
